(This was written a few weeks ago around the time I went to the PA Renaissance Faire)
I almost wish I could clone myself today. Then one of me could be home away from almost everyone and the other could be out.
I’m torn between this desire to go out on this beautiful day and go home and hide a away from everyone
I know I should be out but I was yesterday. I know I should enjoy being with others but I was out with others yesterday; (and surrounded by a bunch of strangers).
At least if I could clone myself then the part of me that wants to go out could go out and the other half could stay in.
But then what would I do with myself when the day was done?
I know it’s irrational, logically it makes no sense, but why does that matter?
I use this plate and this bowl; every single time, I specifically use these items. I thought you knew that. I want to ask you why you didn’t make sure they were clean for today, but I don’t. I don’t have time to explain why it matters to me, but it does.
Logically, I could use any bowl, any plate and use another utensil to serve. But that’s not how it’s supposed to be. I’m sure I can find it, wash it and still use it but then I have to explain myself to you and “just because” is probably not enough of a reason.
Time marches on and besides that they are waiting, quietly staring. If I take to much longer they will start vocalizing their displeasure. Oh, and I do still have to get to work on time, so I’ll settle on the alternate bowl I’ve used but I’m washing this utensil so I don’t have to make an extra decision.
Everything is done at last but the issue with not having the right bowl still bothers me. I wish I could explain it to her and ask why she didn’t wash it. However, then I’d have to explain why it bothers me and simply put, I can’t…